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The Tea Dance

The Tea Dance
It’s the Sunday tea dance and they’ll all be here today,
Aches and pains forgotten, dance the afternoon away,
Foxtrots, waltzes, some are slow but some quite nifty,
With memories of how it was back in 1950.
Norman’s in the toilet and he’s struggling to pee,
He’s got trouble with his prostate and he’ll likely miss his tea,
Eddy’s got a new love that he met in Thornton Heath,
She does a lovely tango but she hasn’t any teeth.
His latest fancy footwork nearly broke his partner’s neck,
She mistook his outside swivel for a travelling contra check.
Ida’s had her hair done and she’s ready for the saunter,
But she had a vindaloo last night and it’s coming back to haunt her.
Florry’s mini-skirts revealing when she’s spinning in a jive,
She really shouldn’t wear a thong approaching eighty-five.
They’ve had their tea and cakes and chat and had a little laugh,
And gamely rise with creaking knees to face the second half.
Norman’s made it back in time for rumba number one,
His cucaracha’s very neat but he’s left his flies undone.
Vera’s fallen over in a massive crimplene heap,
Bert’s got indigestion and Mabel’s fast asleep.
It’s last waltz time and up they get for Humperdinck’s old tune,
And then “goodbye, good luck, take care. God willing see you soon.”


Tea Dances at Parchmore Community Centre:
Held twice a month in the centre on Friday 1.30 pm – 3.30 pm.
Ring 020 8653 7353 / 8998 for details


One response »

  1. I wonder what other dance is happening in the Heath? I just read Barbara Ehrenreich’s ‘Dancing in the Streets: a history of collective joy’. Excellent book.


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